Struggling to orgasm

so, i’ve been with my boyfriend for about six months and every time we do something intimate together i have a hard time orgasming. he doesn’t have a difficult time taking me there, but i always get frightened and usually ask him to stop what he’s doing when i’m close. it’s either that or fake it so it’s somewhat over with. i know i have a tendency to squirt when i’m really enjoying myself and maybe i’m frightened by the idea of making a mess, but it’s really starting to frustrate me how my fear is taking over my fun. is anyone else experiencing this? any tips on how to overcome this? :sob:

What are you nervous or frightened by that results in you asking him to stop what he is doing?

Sometimes the answer to this question can be based in a deeper insecurity or past trauma and sometimes it can be a more logistical nervousness. If your fear is based on something like the messiness of squirting I would recommend having a conversation with him about this. For example, “Hey so I tend to squirt when I orgasm. How do you feel about body fluids? Should we put a towel down?” If you wanted the conversation to be more intimately vulnerable rather than logistical you could say something like, “So I’ve been really anxious about orgasming with you because I tend to squirt and the idea of making a mess has been causing me to hold back my orgasms. I really want to orgasm with you though. How do you feel about body fluids during sex?

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Tell him! Just grab a towel before and let him know you want him to make you cum. Most guys DON’T care at all. You’ll be surprised how many actually want to see that. It’s one way they can actually tell they did something for you and you enjoyed yourself. Confidence in yourself is sexy :wink: !!!

I second @AVL91. There is nothing sexier than someone owning their sexual power. Before you two get down prep the area, let him know that he’s in for a wet n wild time and let him see the work that he has done! The penis ego loves nothing more than to think that we have some how accomplished something with our sexual prowess. (even if it was just being the right shaped key for the lock)