Sex Toys During Sex

So I really would love to incorporate sex toys in the bedroom with my husband, but he seems totally against it. He got pretty offended when he found out I have toys for personal use during my days without him, and I said I would stop using them but I haven’t :shushing_face: I really enjoy them and wish he could see that they have the potential to enhance our sex life!


Maybe try and introduce him to toys for his own use. Maybe get him a vibrating sleeve and show him how it feels. Maybe show him toys that are used for partners. Maybe take him toy shopping or offer to get off in front oh him with some toys. Like a show and see if it helps.


Have you tried talking with him about how sex toys aren’t a replacement for the intimacy between partners, but rather tools to expand pleasure? It sounds like he may be feeling insecure and inadequate. A lot of people who haven’t had access to comprehensive sex education feel that way when first introduced to toys. It might help to reassuringly talk with him about the function of toys, and how they can deepen intimacy.


Did he give a reason why he’s against them? Agree with @plumpuddin, having a talk with your partner about this (I would suggest outside the bedroom in a nonsexual setting), and why you want to use a tool to simply enhance the sex you have together is crucial here.

Finding out why he’s so against toys, trying to understand why and where he’s coming from, and then trying to explain how you feel and educate him would be the first thing I would do. And then like Jason mentioned, once you (hopefully) get him on board, getting a toy to use with him for him, shopping for one together would be a great intro for him.


I would recommend talking to your husband about it and agree with @plumpuddin. Also asking and finding out the root of his issues will open up a conversation that could lead to playing with toys together! However, keeping this secret from him might make the situation worse and could potentially lead to fights especially if you don’t stop or tell him right away.