Is there a term for this thing I like after foreplay?

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Hello! Weird title, I apologize lol :sweat_smile: I haven’t posted here in a good while. I have a question that I seem to not find anything in particular that relates exactly to what I noticed I’ve began to enjoy as a result of foreplay. And I’ve never noticed that I’ve actually been enjoying this particular thing since possibly high school but just couldn’t quite comprehend my feelings.

TW: bruises
I am dating a guy, we’ve been dating for almost two years now but currently we are on break as we are both dealing with really hectic lives that are being taken care of separately before we decide to settle on a relationship.

Before this temporary and mutual break, we were able to mess around a bit with his fetish. We were both feeling a bit frisky and knowing we wouldn’t be seeing each other for awhile helped us to want to get a bit intimate minus the intercourse.
His fetish is in tickling, it’s a main drive in his sex life and although I’ve never taken part in it before him, I was absolutely into the idea.
Our first intimate night as stated was solely about foreplay where we were able to indulge in restraining and tickling. Turned out I was super into it and because I was so squirmy he had to tie my hands with his belt or just hold to my wrists so he could resume tickling. It was quite the effort for him lol but we both had fun anyway! I personally do love being restrained as well, and because most times I’d escape the restraint he’d have to hold my wrists or arm tightly, which again I enjoyed. And he did add heavy pressure most times towards his tickling hand around my body that resulted in an interesting, pleasurable finger jabbing poke throughout my body. Again, thoroughly enjoyed every second. Once it was time for him to leave home, I was going to shower when I noticed some pink marks, especially at my arms where he restrained me with his hands. The following day was when I saw light bruises and throughout the next day the bruises were darker. And here’s where my question comes in, I loved it. I saw my bruises and I felt happy, almost like it was a reminder that he had control of my body in a consensual and sexual way. And I very much enjoyed the thought of that. When I touched them, it felt nice because my body just felt sore. My legs felt sore, my arms, my waist, my ribs, sore. And it was an exhausting couple of days as the bruises were turning more prominent in color, but I felt so comforted by them. Is this some sort of kink I have? In high school I noticed when I used to accidentally get bruises I used to love showing them off, I still don’t fully understand why but I enjoyed feeling the soreness and seeing them. So, is it considered a kink or is this some sort of comfort thing? Or is this something entirely different that I have yet to look into? Thanks in advance for reading :slightly_smiling_face:

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Hey falling, welcome back! And not a weird title at all, there is so much different stuff and terms in kink and BDSM.

So, I’m not sure if there is an official term, I’ve always heard people just call it bruising when talking about it in kink spaces, but it’s def. a thing that people both like and are turned on by. I think I’d say it’s an aspect of general BDSM play you enjoy, a byproduct of being submissive and restrained. Pain (consensual) is pleasure for many people, so it makes sense seeing a lingering mark from play would bring up feelings of joy and comfort. Same with being sore, I sometimes like feeling sore because it’s a reminder of the play, but also a reminder of the person caring for me and our connection. So I think comfort is a big part of it too. And I feel like for a lot of folks, their kink brings them comfort and empowerment, so a reminder of that, like a bruise, can be a positive thing for many folks!

If you haven’t read it before, I’d also check out Hurts So Good, it dives in and looks at the science of pain and pleasure, super interesting!

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Thank you! I was hoping that maybe I wasn’t the only one who enjoyed this. I was also worried that enjoying bruises might be associated with something negative and that people would judge, but I’m glad there actually are people who like it! I almost wanted to show my bruises off the following day but then I decided to cover my arms and legs out of fear that people would question me.

And thank you for the rec! I will definitely check it out, very excited to learn more :blush:

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Hey! You’re not alone! I love my bruises too. Bite marks are my personal favorite but sometimes my daddy leaves marks from squeezing my arms or thighs. I consider them little reminders of our time together. We try to keep them under the clothes, which is harder during summertime, swimsuit season, it’s not always fun to explain the bruises to family/friends. You’ll have to keep playing and see where you like your bruises. I’m always sad to see them fade.

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I feel the same way! I miss them when they’re gone. But I’m so glad that there are others who can relate :smiling_face:

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Literally just glanced at one on my neck as I type this, LOL. Thankfully I can hide it with my hair down if I need to, but I so love the little reminders too :slight_smile: