So, recently I’ve been seeing a lot come up about the enjoyment of praise kink and it got me thinking. For many years I hadn’t realized how much of a people pleaser I am until around my early 20s, I’m currently 25. For the longest time I had trouble saying no to people whether friends or family, now I’ve gotten better at it but I always still want to please everyone.
Whenever I’ve watched porn or read books with sexual encounters and I’ve come across this “good girl” or “yes, just like that” kind of affirmations I’ve gotten excited, felt things down there. I’ve just never really thought much about it or questioned if it was normal to get aroused by it, I just felt it and either acted on it or moved on. And I’ve never had a sexual experience where my partner has praised me during sex, or it probably has happened but nothing much to get me aroused enough.
I guess my main question here is, is praise kink a real kink? And how do I know that I fit into this interest? Or maybe I do since I seem to get aroused by praising phrases?
It is very much a real kink and I have it. In fact I know a few switch friends who also enjoy it greatly. Praise kinks itself can come from many places, for some it’s their a people pleaser, others it’s insecurity’s that the praise helps them (kinda like me) and for some being told your making someone feel good is a reward of itself.
If you want to see if it’s your thing maybe try and ask your partner to be more “blunt” with the praise. When your pleasuring them and they give you praise, think about how that makes you feel. For me praise is one of those kinks that’s more of a mood booster and not that sexually stimulating. To put it bluntly I can’t cum from just being told I’m a good boy. But while I’m sucking someone off and they say good boy then I feel happy, you see what I’m saying?
Yup, it’s real, just like Jason said! And not as much talked about but probably a more common kink than most realize. A lot of people get turned on by praise and I think it’s something a lot of folks don’t think to explore or amplify more.
I’d say the best way to know how to see if any kink is something you’re into is to explore it with someone you trust in a safe setting. Talk to a partner about wanting to explore this more, and set boundaries and ground rules on what you feel comfortable with, like what words or phrases or actions you’d like to use. And then after examine how you feel, I’d even suggest talking it out with your partner as well. Aftercare while exploring is always great to have. See how it makes you feel. If you dig it, explore more. If not, no biggie.
I would say, as a fellow people pleaser, do just watch out that praising doesn’t yield to just going along with things to make someone else happy. You should feel empowered, which is why I suggest always communicating boundaries and ground rules before exploring kinks.
Thank you so much for the response! I hope I didn’t sound like I was diminishing the existence of this kink by my question, I wasn’t sure how to go about phrasing the title, but I appreciate the feedback as well so I can continue exploring this aspect with my partner
I agree, it’s hardly talked about and so I’m glad I’ve recently been more aware of its existence!
I don’t think you diminished it at all! There are some many kinks and the subcultures within the overall kink community that can be so isolated within their own thing, it’s hard to explore and find info sometimes and hash out how a specific kink relates to you. Not to mention many kinks and the idea of kink itself is still taboo culturally for the most part.
But glad you are talking about it and talking about it here and can explore further with your partner!
