So I was on Instagram and suddenly I was reminded of of my middle and high school experience.
Most of my experience was different cause I was in the “special class” thanks to my autism. However the interactions I’ve had with my fellow classmates was odd. For most of my middle and high school life, female students controlled my life. Quite literally. Girls would give me food to eat, girls would tell me how to talk to people, one girl would even walk me out of school by holing onto my hoodie as we walked. Whenever me and some female classmates would like play pretend, I was usually a pet or I was working for them. They would pet my head and say I did good.
I bring this up because looking at my sexual taste now… I am very submissive, especially to females and I have a praise kink and I enjoy pet play. I can’t help but wonder if all those girls back in school treating me like I needed protection could have started my kink journey? I understand that many people find their kinks or taste at a younger age and it kicks in later. And I wonder if this is the case for me? I don’t have a problem or anything with this and I honestly fondly remember my school days. I’m just curious if this theory has some evidence and if others have similar experiences.
I wouldn’t be surprised if so! I def. know some folks in the BDSM world who knew early on that discipline felt differently for them from a young age. Not a kink, but I knew I was queer from a very young age because I physically would feel things if treated a certain way by friends that were girls, def. aroused something in me. And all my earliest memories with masturbation and porn revolved around cis women too. I think at the end of the day so much of this stuff is rooted in pleasure, and one of the earliest connections we physically have with our bodies is the sensation of pleasure, so it makes sense that the things we find pleasure in later in life are rooted in some base experience from childhood. I don’t have any hard evidence or studies, but def. get what you are saying!