Inexperienced partner

Hi, all!

I have recently entered into a new relationship and need some advice. My partner is inexperienced when it comes to oral sex. I’ve discussed it a bit with him but I wanted some advice on how to make him feel more comfortable taking this step. He is anxious but doesn’t seem unwilling. I don’t want to pressure him into doing something he is uncomfortable with, but I also think that it may just take time. Anyone have any experience with a situation like this?


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Hello! First off, is your partner inexperienced in providing or receiving oral sex?

In the case of your partner being inexperienced in providing oral sex, perhaps invite your partner into intimate masturbatory sessions where either one or both of you are masturbating. Use this opportunity as a chance to show your partner what feels good for you and have them practice those moves on you until they get comfortable enough to touch you freely and potentially feel comfortable enough to to provide oral stimulation freely. Just as you actively coach and guide them to provide non-oral stimulation to your body, coach/guide/support them when they experiment with oral contact. Make sure to provide words of affirmation or constructive criticism (as opposed to just criticism) so that your partner feels well informed about your interests.

In the case of your partner being inexperienced on the receiving end of oral sex, I would still suggest introducing voyeuristic exploration through group masturbation sessions. First have them show you how they like to touch themselves, then try to gradually progress into touching them the way they enjoy while frequently asking for their input. Once they become familiar and comfortable enough with your physical contact, you can attempt using oral play and continue asking for your partner’s input. For the oral play you could start off with simple stuff like kissing or making out that gradually moves from the mouth, to the ears/neck, then the chest/stomach, to the groin area. I would not recommend putting your mouth on all places in one session, but practice over the course of multiple sessions until your partner is comfortable enough for oral contact with their groin.

I hope this somewhat helps your predicament!

In exploring oral play in levels like I’ve listed, you could also try oral play/stimulation on every area except for the genitals in the beginning to normalize oral contact. Once that’s been normalized your could introduced genital-oral contact if your partner is ready :slight_smile:

When I met my partner, he was very comfortable talking abt sex and how much he loved pussy and all. Skip to a few month later and we are dating and I ask if he could go down on me and he says yes. It was okay. And he knew from my reaction. I later find out that he had a really abusive girlfriend who also faked a lot of pleasure during sex and then threw it all in his face when they broke up. She really humiliated him.

I love this man, so I obviously wanted to make this work to where he wasn’t pressured into being the best, but learning what I liked bc he wanted to help pleasure me.

He likes his hair being pulled so he let me move his head around to the spot where it felt good. If ur comfortable, ask them to finger you while they go down on you so u have different levels of pleasure.

Also, we decided (while sober) to have sex intoxicatedwe had a party where he was tipsy and I was faded

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Got cut off but:

And he was amazing/I felt amazing bc I was high. He had so much confidence and literally gave me (cis woman) greatest head I had ever had. And after coming with his tongue on me, he felt even more confident

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