I’ve been finding it difficult to figure out what I want sexually when I’m solo and when I’m with a partner. I think I’m at a mental growth/expansion point but I’m not quite sure where to take it and I’m also just kind of feeling tired and shy. How can I figure out what I like and what I want while in this mode? Maybe I’m holding myself back? Maybe I need to ride it out (ha! accidental pun). My tastes have also changed over the years and now I feel like I’m in a kind of sexual limbo. I want feel aroused and excited, I want to have some go to fantasy’s or kinks but nothing is really lighting my fancy. Though don’t get me wrong I can still get randy and have a good time every now and then, but I miss having a kink or something fun to focus on and explore. Does anyone else go through points like this?
I totally get that sexual limbo feeling. I feel like some things just don’t hit the same as they used to (ha), and there are things I want to explore more but it’s overwhelming and I don’t have the full energy right now to truly dive in.
When I don’t want to fully explore new things, which I’m feeling very much that place this year, I tend to lean a lot on dipping my toe into new kinks and genres of things I haven’t explored yet with porn. Watching new performers and new styles, erotica too. I’m very much into putting myself in my head in a scenario, so I like to explore that way, both solo and with partners, and then see what it brings up.
And sometimes when nothing is really lighting my fancy, I either revisit something I haven’t done in a long time and see if it feels any different, or, and maybe this is retail therapy scratching an itch right now for me in general, I’ll buy a new toy. Either something I’ve been eyeing for a while, or something cheaper I haven’t played with or never been that interested in. That’s actually how I ended up buying a pinwheel, and now I love playing with one with myself. Or like with bondage teaching myself some self bondage and knots I can do on my own, which is something I’ve never really done. Just a different tool or aspect is fun to open up a new avenue of something that already feels familiar and put it in a new light.