When did I become a Cuckold?

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I am trying to figure out at what point or what experience made me a cuckold.

Jennifer, college girlfriend of mine. I admit I was spying on her because I was jealous. I found her meeting with her boss at a hotel for lunch and after work. One time after they left the hotel, I followed her to her apartment and we had sex…I was very turned on.

Kristin, college girlfriend of mine…went to surprise her at her house one night late, she wasn’t there but I waited across the street. She finally came home late, two people were with her, two males. I didn’t find out until later it was an ex-BF and his best friend. I snuck around the back of the house and the light was on in her bedroom. By the time I was there she was on the bed making out with both of them, they had quite the threesome and I watched the entire thing. After the two guys left I waited about a 1/2 hour and I knocked on the front door, she was sleeping but answered and I came in kissing her and she let me spend the night, we had sex a couple times…again I was very turned on.

Fast forward after college girlfriend Bridget (later my wife), came over to pick her up for the weekend, she went to take a shower and I waited in her bedroom. I went to throw away something in the garbage can and noticed a condom wrapper which seemed odd since we hadn’t had sex there in some time. When I looked closer there was a used condom, I just held it, squeezed the remaining load around and it made me hard. I rolled the condom on and just waited naked until she came out, we had sex with that condom and I was quite turned on.

Fast forward again, my girlfriend Bridget (later my wife), we were now leaving together and she had gone on vacation by herself as a birthday gift from me. Late one night while she was gone I got a phone call, it was a male voice who claimed to be in a 3 month affair with Bridget…he want into great detail telling me what they were doing, I began to play with myself and after he hung up the phone pleasured myself to completion.

Could these be the events or am I just attracted to certain kinky porn about wives and girlfriends having sex with others? I am not sure but wondering if others have these past experiences that force them to behave certain ways?

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Just from what you’ve shared, I’d def. say these are firm moments that made you realize being a cuckhold is something that turns you on and that you want to explore.

I think porn in general can be a window into exploring fantasies, but then in reality those fantasies aren’t something we actually want to play out. I think that is the case for some folks. But for many, enjoying porn can open their mind to a fantasy that they do want to experience in real life, and can lead to a lot of enjoyment when they do. It sounds like you are for sure more in that second scenario, where you’ve acted on a fantasy and enjoyed it a lot. As long as everyone is consenting in these situations, that’s great!

I would say “force them to behave a certain way” is a strong phrase to use. To me that brings up feelings of shame, which isn’t great (unless you want to be shamed as a kink, then I get it!) I think a lot of people get turned on by power dynamics, by scenarios that feel “forbidden” by society, and I think it’s totally healthy to explore that, esp. if you have a partner that is down, which it sounds like you do.

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Thanks for the reply and feedback. I am hopeful a community here is a place to discuss these feelings. I do not have a lot of friends to really talk to about cuckolds or creampies etc. thanks again.

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You’re welcome and of course! It’s a bummer so many folks and our culture are still hesitant to discuss sexuality and kink in a frank manner, but it’s nice to have our little slice of the internet to do so :slight_smile:

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