Why does my hymen break almost every time i use a penetrative toy?

I am an adult, for the record, trans man ftm. I am a virgin, but i do masturbate as a lot of people do. But I’ve noticed my hymen seems to “break” (I do know it stretches and doesn’t break, but it tears and bleeds) almost every single time I use anything bigger than the size of a finger inside of me. I use coconut oil as lube, I try to be gentle and slow, I have no idea why this happens so often and it is starting to seriously worry me. I’m also a sex worker and I’m not sure that camming and bleeding make the best combination. anyway if anyone has any sort of advice or information about this that I lack? I’ve tried looking everywhere but I haven’t learned anything I didn’t already know. Thanks so much!


Hi! It’s nice to see another trans person around! I’m sure there are many potential causes of your symptoms, but I’m gonna do my best to answer your questions using my personal experience and knowledge.

Do you know if you might have a hymenal abnormality? Last year I was diagnosed with congenital hymenal abnormalities and while I didn’t experience much bleeding or tearing (I didn’t do penetration unless necessary), your experiences reminded me of mine. I wasn’t able to use tampons or insert more than a very small silicone dilator. It took multiple gynecologists to get a diagnosis so having been seen by one doesn’t necessarily say whether you do or don’t have an abnormality. I’m gonna post a diagram of some hymenal abnormalities as well as a photo of what my gynecologist drew on a whiteboard to demonstrate my hymen (mine couldn’t be neatly classified, it was kind of like a mix of fimbriated, redundant, and Microperforate). Feel free to take a look and see if anything looks familiar.

Let me know if you have any questions or have more details you’d like to share! I’d love to help if possible.