Tips to prepare anal play with a partner?

I’m a 25yo male with a lot of curiosity in trying some anal fun with my actual female partner. We’re beginning to talk about trying some stuff and that’s very exciting for both.

What do you think I should have in mind before giving up my ass to her? How should I approach the hygiene part? I’m thinking about waxing that area entirely as well.

I want us to feel as comfortable as possible, so I need to be prepared for anything.

Any tip appreciated :wink:


Hey man I gotta say, anal is scary as hell to some people. I myself want to try it just get used to it but it’s one of those things that just freak me out. I haven’t done it but I know one tip. Apparently if you have external prostate orgasm (a prostate orgasm without penetration) it might make the actual insertion easier. Also I’ve read a lot that you must relax. It’s a tricky process and it can feel intense. The important thing to do is go at your own pace and stay calm. Deep breaths and relaxed body. Also don’t get surprised if you can’t keep it up the whole time on it’s own. It’s a weird feeling that takes getting used too. So a few pumps here and there won’t hurt. Good luck man.


Also I don’t know if this goes without saying but go slow and use A LOT of lube. Like don’t start with the strap on. There’s actually a lot of starter anal toys out there. Unbound actually sells a cute few to help you start. But yeah start with like inserting a pinky finger and work your way up. And remember LUBE

@Jason Hey man, thanks for your input! Good luck to you too :smiley:

And have you tried cunnilingus? I think that’s going to be the first step for me.


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I haven’t actually but I’m looking forward to it. And cheers to you too man :smiley:

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Welcome to the world of anal play! cue rainbows and fireworks!

So there are a lot of options here. You can wax, personally it irritates my skin and itches like hell, so my partner and I do not wax. A good shower and wash is enough, and we just avoid play if we’ve had an upset stomach that day, ha. Some folks douche with anal sex, but with toys (I’m bio female, he is bio male) we don’t, just wipe well and then shower before.

Def. look into beginner toys like Jason suggested. Spectrum has a whole section labeled butts and you can find some there! First, get some good lube! Lots of it, I usually prefer something that is toy safe but not water based (although water based is fine, just will have to maybe reapply more). Lube is key with anal toy play. You can also get finger condoms, lube up and insert fingers as well, but watch out for hangnails. Personally prefer toys for anal play. We started with a very slim and medium length butt plug that had a few notches to work up to, and then once my partner was comfortable with that, we bought thicker and longer dildos. The key is working up to a larger size, and taking your time. It can be scary, but if you and your partner communicate and go slow to start, it can be great! It’s great to gently fuck someone with a toy, but also fun to just insert and get each other off as well while having a toy in you.

Another option, and def. something you can try once you graduate up to larger toys, is pegging too. I’d make sure first find out if anal is y’alls thing, because a strap-on can be an investment. But if it is, it’s a lot of fun! There is something empowering and exciting about the power dynamic (speaking from my experience as a woman with a vagina). If that is something you’d want to know more about, can speak to that as well.