Tips for using a strap-on for the first time!

First time being with a woman, and she has only been with women before (it’s been amazing so far!!!). She has brought up using a strap-on and I’m excited, but nervous too…anyone have any tips?

2 Likes

Woo, welcome to strap-on world! And congrats on things going great so far with your gal :slight_smile:

I’m assuming you’re a cis female like me, so my advice is coming from that point of view, just fyi. Any specific questions or things you are nervous about? I have a strap-on and happy to help with any advice or how the experience has been for me!

Right off the bat, I’ll give you three tips though. My biggest tip is making sure the fit of your harness feels right for your body. I actually suggested my favorite harness in our holiday staff picks here: https://spectrumboutique.com/lists-toys/holidays/lisa-top-sex-toys

I love this SpareParts harness because 1. it comes in a larger adjustable size (I’m a plus size babe), 2. It’s extremely adjustable so you can get it tight but not too tight that it’s digging into you, and it’s easy to adjust too 3. It’s a great breathable and washable fabric.

A lot of people prefer leather harnesses, or they also make the ones that look like underwear (which are cute but usually don’t fit me well), so it’s a personal preference. Here are all of the ones Spectrum sells if you want to check out other styles though: https://spectrumboutique.com/sex-toys/strap-on-harnesses

Once you have a harness that works, take a deep breath and remember communication is key! This isn’t something attached to your body and mind that you intuitively can feel, so there is a learning curve. You’ll have to adjust, see what works with your body and the fit of your harness and also your partner’s body. So expect to have to stop and adjust multiple times, just roll with it, no biggie! For me, I have a bigger belly, so wearing it over my crotch doesn’t work because then I don’t have good access to the dildo or feel like it’s in a good spot for thrusting. So I wear my harness a bit higher, which is totally fine! But I learned that while using it with a partner, so stopping and adjusting was key. It’s just about finding what works for you and your partner’s body.

And last, but way more fun and not as technical, is enjoy yourself in it! Honestly the first time I put a harness on, I was so nervous. So I wanted to try it on alone first. I put it on and looked at myself, touched my body and the dildo like it was an extension of me, even played around solo with it on. Getting comfortable with it on made me feel so more confident and powerful and excited to share all of that with my partner. It was not only hot, but def. helped those nerves melt away!

Let me know if you have specific questions though, happy to help.

1 Like

Also Carly wrote this great article for Journal on pegging! Which obviously you can do with any gender, even though some of the article does talk more about anal play with men. She talks about harnesses in it though, def. worth a read: https://spectrumboutique.com/journal/article/pegs-over-easy/

1 Like