So, after some recent discussions on here and with some friends IRL, I’ve been thinking about the things we might have been told or “learned” early on about sex that now we know are SO not true. So I think it’s time to have a Forum Sex Myth thread!
Drop in some of the things you were told about sex (or sexuality) that you’ve found to be totally bogus.
I’m thinking this is a great way to feel like we’re not alone in some of the misinformation we’ve been taught, and also bust some myths for folks too! I’ll drop a few down below to start.
People having sex orgasm together at the same time. 100% not true (although it can happen) but I totally assumed from movies that everyone coordinated cumming and yeah, nope, ha.
That lube is for old people. Totally not true! For some reason a teen friend’s sibling was like “oh yeah, that’s what old people use for sex” and it stuck in my brain into my early 20s until I went to my local amazing sex shop (Early 2 Bed here in Chicago, woo) and was educated otherwise.
That bi people aren’t real, and this one is a REAL bummer I identify as queer now (which wasn’t even an option on my radar as a teen in Indiana) but I def. grew up hearing this rhetoric that you had to choose if you liked men or women. And there wasn’t even an option for anything outside of that! Poor teen Lisa felt a lot of shame knowing in my heart from an early age that I was attracted to all types of people for a variety of reasons and feeling like I was wrong for doing so. Happy I got past that point of my life, cliche as it is, it does get better.
Clitorises all look the same. They most certainly don’t! Really the whole vulva is so unique for everyone, and they can change with age and things like childbirth. I def. assumed we all looked the same down there as a kid, ha, so it’s been nice in adulthood to get to appreciate a vast array of vulvas Speaking of, check out this awesome vagina and vulva art over on Spectrum’s IG for some cute art! https://www.instagram.com/p/CL94V5uFsQn/
Abstinence is the only “safe” option because sex is “so dangerous”
The vagina is the whole thing
If you anything other than straight, you will “fuck anything” (I’ve actually been told that before!)
Sex isn’t for pleasure and it’s main purpose is to create children
Men will want women for sex but it’s the woman’s job to “stay strong” and not fall prey to sexual desire
Sexting or sending nudes will ruin your life and it is incredibly shameful to do those things! (I remember we had this guy come in to talk to us about it and he said "how would you feel if someone printed out every text you had and showed the entire world?)
Yeah the messages I’ve learned from sex ed in my school and just the media in general are FUCKED UP!
Pee and squirt Juices are the same thing. Thankfully I learned the truth very quickly.
Men’s nipples serve no purpose. I learned that it’s a great erotic spot and a fun place for pleasure.
Eating ass and anal is pointless for girls. That’s entirely up to the girl. For some it’s a mute point but a lot of girls like it. Although it’s not a sure thing.
How to choke a person sexually. I was taught it was cutting off air but that’s very dangerous. Instead your cutting off a type of air infused blood by squeezing the side of the neck and not cutting off air.
A good sex Ed class shows you squid mating and takes five minutes to say the differences. Yeah that was all the sex Ed I got in school.
LOL. Def. heard that one too. Which is rich now because 1. I have no desire to have kids 2. I have a hormone disorder that makes it almost impossible to have kids. So from the start I’ve just been out here being a godless heathen
Safe BDSM play is something I’m still learning a lot about, and something I wish was taught more. Hell, I didn’t know that if you are doing ball gag play you want to make sure the person wearing is titled forward since it causes excess saliva so they don’t choke on their spit. Carly posted that the other day and totally made sense, I just never even thought about it.
Ugh, right?! So messed up. Reading these my brain is like “yup, heard that too growing up.”
I always say the internet is truly a weapon and a tool, depending on the situation, but god bless the internet for existing when it comes to educating a lot of us on sex. Although a lot of bad information is out there for sure, but I def. wouldn’t have known about SO many positive things if I hadn’t been able to look it up online.
Also why I’m so happy to be able to educate folks now and work with Spectrum, since that’s such a focus for the whole crew and Zoe (hell, she put out a great book about this stuff last year!). My friends are starting to have kids, and already one of them came to me asking for good sex positive resources for teaching her tween, and I was just over the moon that I was able to send her some book suggestions. Hoping to raise a more empowered and knowledgable generation if I can help it, ha.
Currently trying to wrap my brain around the fertility fact! I am avoiding pregnancy at all costs, and have anxiety about getting pregnant. I’m 26 (bio f) and only just recently learned you’re only fertile for so long and that the egg is only viable for so long. So I’ve only just gotten comfortable with my partner finishing inside, and even still I’m only comfortable with it very close to my period. Proper sex ed is so lacking!!
There is basically NO education about childbirth or fertility, and it’s so awful! There are so many factors that play into fertility, and it’s also such a crapshoot. My friend was worried getting pregnant at 38 (and 40) and immediately got knocked up ASAP when they were trying. It’s such a complicated thing and we never talk about it. And we never talk about all the parts of childbirth and afterbirth either, the stuff I’ve learned just from my friends stumbling blindly through it. Really should be better support for expecting and new parents.
I identify as queer now (which wasn’t even an option on my radar as a teen in Indiana) but I def. grew up hearing this rhetoric that you had to choose if you liked men or women. And there wasn’t even an option for anything outside of that! Poor teen Lisa felt a lot of shame knowing in my heart from an early age that I was attracted to all types of people for a variety of reasons and feeling like I was wrong for doing so. Happy I got past that point of my life, cliche as it is, it does get better.
Speaking of, check out this awesome vagina and vulva art over on Spectrum’s IG for some cute art! 
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