A bedroom upgrade is a perfect change of scenery in the midst of social distancing!
Over on Spectrum Journal, Carly shares some ways to retool your space and optimize it for sexy times, solo or partnered: https://journal.spectrumboutique.com/article/sexy-space/
Also throw out your favorite upgrades here!
I def. suggest candles and soft lighting. I got a cheap light from Daiso, hard to describe but it kinda looks like those light sticks you’d get at like Disney on Ice that have all the LED thin pieces (kinda like pasta) and the colors reflect against the clear plastic and changes? Ha. But it’s super lovely and soft, I adore it.
Also scent too. I usually double down with candles for that. Been really into citrus scents, especially the Trader Joe’s grapefruit candles. So cheap, last a long time. They were just around so I stocked up!
I can vouch for lighting. I have these HUE lights that can dim and change colors. Getting off in soft red and blue and purple lighting feels so much better. Plus a change of lighting could be great for like roleplay.
But yeah definitely feels better then either total darkness or boring bright ass light. Give me soft moans and wondering hands in soft blue lights or flickering candles. The idea of two bodies gently rubbing against each other as soft hands caress and lips leave marks, all while the warm soft glow of a candle flickers and lights the room… ah my inner sub and pyrotechnic loves that idea.
I’m big on scent as well! I usually use wax melts in a burner I have in my bathroom. I’m partial to warm dessert scents, like cinnamon, vanilla, nuts, caramel, and coffee. Right now I’m using a pecan brownie one.
I also have a painting by Lindsey Doe hanging in my bathroom. I decided to put it there since I typically masturbate in the shower. Seeing it helps me feel empowered. I like that marks my space as distinctly mine, and to me represents a sexual safe space. Here it is before I framed it, plus two photos that came with it showing Lindsey creating the painting.
When I read the “touch” section of the article, I instantly thought of my acupressure mat. Although I got it as a medical device, I quickly discovered the luxurious increased sensitivity that results from using it. After laying on all those spikes for a while, the sheets and blankets and pillows of my bed feel a billion times softer as soon as the mat is removed. It’s amazing!! Sometimes I use it before having sex or engaging in Bdsm activities because it is such a grounding and sensual experience.
That painting is gorgeous! Also never thought to use an acupressure mat that way, genius.
Also love warm baked good scents. If you have a Trader Joe’s near you, during the holiday they do a lot of those scents in their tin candles that are super cheap and you can stock up. I still have some vanilla pumpkin and gingerbreads from last fall!
I actually have a Trader Joe’s just down the street from me, although I rarely visit. Thanks for the tip! I had no idea. I’ll definitely be checking those out around the holidays.
Welcome! They sell small tin candles that are cheap and actually last a long time and 90% smell really good. They change often, but def. a great buy.
Also while there if you like spicy stuff, grab a bottle of the chili crisp. Ha. I love TJs so I love so much stuff there, ha.
I really love that and I’m totally gonna try that with my mat!
I boil water with some vanilla and cinnamon in it while I’m cleaning so it smells like cookies.
Perhaps this should be a separate post, but what music do y’all prefer? I personally like sexual insinuating club music. Rhianna type stuff.
Personally my music taste is all over the place. Same can be said for my bedroom playlist.
There’s some really good songs by Type O Negative, songs like Be My Druidess and Love You To Death. Classic rock with a a lot of guitar is nice, stuff like Do I Wanna Know by Arctic Monkeys. Oddly enough, Hips Don’T Lie by Shakira. In Your Room by Depeshe Mode.
Your Master Is Calling by Pink Turns Blue.
For those rough nights, Super Psycho Love by Siman Curtis.
Powerful by Major Lazor is a nice mix of rough but caring.
The Blood Theme from the show Dexter is oddly up there.
Basically if it can make me get in the mood to be wearing silk and lace underwear and robes in a huge dark room with a massive bed, with big windows and moonlight while my partner wears a black suit and slowly walks towards me only to fuck me like they need my voice… I’m in lol. That kinda vibe hits you know?
I was a music journalist for almost a decade, so I love a bit of everything. That said I have a Bowie tattoo, I followed Nine Inch Nails for a handful of shows their last tour, and Prince’s Purple Rain poster hangs on my kitchen wall, haha, and all of those artists have some sexy music to me.
Also Portishead. And Massive Attack. And Tricky. Trip Hop is so damn sexy.
So fun thing happened. I started drawing a character and that drawing was mainly made from horny sub thoughts. Like we all have those weird characters from books or movies or games where it’s like “I know your not conventionally hot and/or the actual villain of this story but if you were on my bed I wouldn’t hesitate.” Like for some people, Jack Sparrow is really hot. For some people (I am guilty of this) Stefano Valentini… GODS I’d be his model any day for his sweet Italian words 
So yeah I was drawing one of those characters and when I post I tend to post the drawing recorded process and put music to it so I was trying to find the right song (still haven’t found it) but I found some new SMEXY songs to “vibe” too.
