Ok so, I am about to finish my bachelors degree and am lusting over the idea of doing post grad study, a Masters in Sexology. The papers I write at the moment for university are sexual health related and reproductive health focused. However this has never really been anything I’ve discussed with my parents, I just don’t know how confident I’ll be when I tell them I’m applying for a m
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asters in Sexology…am I simply being ridiculous for over thinking this? I just can’t see my parents being proud of me without feelings of discomfort… This year I started posting snippets of my essays on my ig story and sharing sexual health promotion, it feels great that my friends know what I am passionate about but I still hold back sharing “too much” at times.
Gah, any tips to get out of this mindset?
Hey there!
I too struggle with wanting to officially enter the sexual health field. I get fears of being judged by family or fears of being inappropriately prodded about my sex life by family/friends because of my interests.
For me, I started out by speaking with the parent who is easiest to talk to and who is most laid back. I didn’t fully initiate conversation about the kink side of things in what I study as that can be a touchy subject, but I told my mom about some people I follow who inspire me (such as Zoe Ligon) and explained what they do. I personally am interested in the education and health aspects of sexuality so I told my mom about similar focuses/efforts of the people I follow. To avoid undue discomfort, I framed my interests from a perspective of creating a safe, supportive, and helpful atmosphere that teaches people how to stay sexually and mentally healthy.
Approaching your parents by explaining what good you seek to do with your masters might help ease some of their worry/discomfort. I can understand how important approval from parents is on life decisions, especially when it comes to educational affairs. But when it comes down to it, it is your choice to study something that excites you and no one else has to see the value in it so long as you do (though when other people value your interests it does make things easier).
If you attempt to speak with your parents and they aren’t receptive of your interests, I think it would be worth it to continue with a sexology degree. Once you get to a point where sexology work is prominent in your life, it may be easier for your parents to comprehend what you desire to accomplish with your interests if they see physical evidence of your work (similar to how you post parts of your essays so friends have a better understanding of what you’re learning/doing).
@AprilMoon First let me say congratulations on following a path of authenticity. We are now able to have the types of conversations we are having today thanks to the intrepid individuals that have come before us. Perhaps a brief study of people who have changed the landscape of sexuality will inspire you to be bold in the your decisions to become a leader in our community. We can’t changes lives with our light if we keep it hidden from the world. A few uncomfortable conversations with family could be the only cost to a life of freedom that will have infinite greater good possibilities
You got a Bachelor’s degree!!! There are so many people who cant even say that…and you are going for a Master’s!!! Be proud of yourself. This is what YOU aspire to do and if it makes you happy then it shouldnt matter what anyone else thinks.
You should be so proud of what you’ve already done! Furthering your dreams through higher education is incredible, and support from loved ones makes it just that much more valuable.
Think about previous conversations with your parents on similar subjects - what went well, or how could you pitch the idea to them in language they will understand? Personal wellness is a broad topic you’ll be diving into all different areas of during your study, so don’t be afraid to tailor your introduction of the idea to what you think your parents might be comforted to hear.
As far as overcoming shame related to passion for your work - own it! This is your field, and soon what feels like over sharing will be regarded as a useful source of knowledge for your friends and those around you.
My experience? I told my parents when I first started high school that I wanted to be a sex educator. They were wary at first, protective even. You can try telling your parents about how much knowledge can give you control over sexual conversations and situations, which helps everyone to lead happier and healthier lives. As an adult, my uncle drove me to my job interview at a sex toy retailer, my grandparents and parents have visited my store to purchase wellness items from me, and my mom is helping me with starting my sex toy review blog. The people who love you want to support you no matter what. Just give them time and trust yourself!
Devon
