Tensed pelvic muscles

Hey folks out there!

I wanted to start this thread because there isnt much to read about it when it comes to a TENSED pelvic floor that leads to pain and a dysfunctional sexuality, all i can always find is how to strengthen it, which is important, too.
I personally have to deal with a tensed pelvic floor which occured because of different reasons, mainly I THINK because of repeating the same sexual habit pattern over and over again, which is tensing up. I also think it might have gotten to a chronic thing because of stress and just holding my pelvic muscle on a daily basis, and because of traumatic experiences conntected to feelings like guilt, unworthiness and insecurity.
After many failed antibiotica treazments because doctors said it must be a bladder infection and some years in pain, I did an electroshock treatment which helped enormously. Since then my pain has reduced to an irrelevant size, but still I cannot relaxe when it comes to sexual terms. I fee hindered and unfree to experience something uncrontrolled, overwhelming, and its just now that I start to open up about it and work on it, because I think many women (and men) suffer from pain that is caused by pelvic muscle tension and IT NEEDS TO BE TREATED in a better and holistic way. There is not much research going on in that field (including vulvadynia etc.).

What are your experiences? Do you suffer yourself from tension or pain in your vag and how do you deal with it? What did help, what did hinder your progress? How do you break out of habit patterns?

Feel understood,


Thanks for this so glad to see this post!

I was recently diagnosed with vulvodynia after 4 years of severe pain during sex, bladder pain and burning sensations.

My first pelvic floor physical therapy appointment is next month. I have found a really great gynecologist who referred me to physical therapy and has seen a lot of success with her other patients.

The other thing that really really helped me was cannabis infused coconut oil lubricant. Coconut oil is anti bacterial (for infections), anti inflammatory (I normally experience severe swelling with intercourse otherwise not sure if that’s attributed to the vulvodynia), it smells good and is totally safe to eat! Cannabis topically helps to relax my pelvic and vaginal muscles. I also usually smoke cannabis prior to sex to help myself relax and get into the mood.

Warm epsom salt baths are helpful too.

Hope this helps you! Thanks again for the post


I have an overactive pelvic floor because I have an overactive bladder, ever since I can remember I’ve been tensing my pelvic floor almost constantly. It did become a bit of a problem when I first became sexually active, it caused sex to be very painful. But over the years I’ve managed to find ways to make sex work for me and it doesn’t seem to be as much of a problem anymore thankfully. Sex can still hurt for me but more so because of other health issues I have and the fact that my uterus is inverted (I think that’s the word for it). It does cause my periods to hurt more and when I had an IUD it caused the pain from getting it put in and my recovery to be more extreme.

This is such a great post! I also struggle with chronic pelvic tension. I have vaginismus and endometriosis, which cause chronic tension and pain for me personally. Last year after I had pelvic surgery, I had a ton of issues with pelvic floor muscle spasms during recovery. The best way I found to cope in the short term was by holding a heating pad to my (clothed) genitals. I’m recovered now but still do this as needed, as well as using a hot, wet washcloth agasint my bare genitals. It helps calm the spasms and soothe the pain.

I haven’t had the same experience as the rest of you but periods use to be unbearable for the first few days then the next several days after that I would be very sore from clenching my pelvic floor during those bad cramps. These type of heat patches helped a lot.

[Menstrual heat patch](10 Packs Menstrual Heating Patch, Period Pain Relief Heat Patch - Neck, Shoulders, Back Pain Relief https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07XP37N4P/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_i_YjsjFb1SV0BNP)