Hey Bug! So I asked our team on one of our calls, because I couldn’t for the life of me think of a specific book that would meet all these points, and I was right, none exists 
Maybe we should write one! BUT, and I figured this would happen if I brought it up to the Spectrum crew, they were able to suggest some books that have passages and sections about non-penetrative sex, specifically queer-based.
Bang is about masturbation, but a lot of the techniques and info are great for mutual, partnered non-penetrative sex as well. It also has a lot of info on sensual touch in general.
Girl Sex 101 has what I find an unfortunate name, but the book itself is really great. It’s focused on the vulva, but is inclusive in the writing of all genders and identities, and includes some great demonstrative illustrations and techniques that aren’t just penetrative.
If you haven’t read Fucking Trans Women, it’s a super informative zine written by trans women, and one of my co-workers suggested checking it out if you haven’t already, it’s their go-to for trans sex books.
One person did suggest Red Hot Touch, but warned the language is more focused on cisgender and het folks, but said they really like it for suggestions and information for non-penetrative play and orgasms.