# How to approach anal with women **URL:** \ **Category:** Uncategorized\ **Created:** [December 29, 2021, 8:44pm UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667 "2021-12-29T20:44:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Heyman2234](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@Heyman2234](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/Heyman2234)\ **Post date:** [December 29, 2021, 8:44pm UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/1 "2021-12-29T20:44:09Z")
I have been a fan of anal since the one time a female has let me try. However, since then I’ve been told by other women who normally do it that I’m too big for anal. Is there anything I could suggest that might make it easier? ---
**Author:** ![LisaW](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex029/user_avatar/forum.spectrumboutique.com/lisaw/32/33_2.png) [@LisaW](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/LisaW)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 5:51am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/2 "2022-01-04T05:51:33Z")
Do you mean too thick or too long? Also what kind of warm up and what type of lube are you using? A lot of prep work can make the experience more enjoyable, because folks can’t just jump right into anal sex. Working the way up with smaller toys and plugs is a great option. Also once you do all that, if depth and length is an issue, having a wearable that helps put a barrier and control depth of penetration can help too. Ohnut has a great one (although caveat, haven’t used it for anal personally): [Ohnut Custom Penetration Depth Buffer | Spectrum Boutique](https://spectrumboutique.com/ohnut-custom-penetration-depth-buffer.html) And some folks just aren’t fans. But working up slowly and gradually is the best way to go. ---
**Author:** ![LisaW](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex029/user_avatar/forum.spectrumboutique.com/lisaw/32/33_2.png) [@LisaW](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/LisaW)\ **Post date:** [January 4, 2022, 6:23am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/3 "2022-01-04T06:23:58Z")
Oh! I forgot the Ohnut came out with an updated version that comes in a bigger size as well! [Ohnut Rainbow Custom Penetration Depth Buffer | Spectrum Boutique](https://spectrumboutique.com/ohnut-rainbow-custom-penetration-depth-buffer-sb1872-par.html) ---
**Author:** ![Heyman2234](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@Heyman2234](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/Heyman2234)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2022, 2:09am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/4 "2022-01-06T02:09:40Z")
Length. Girth I would say is average, with a large tip, and 9 inches long. I have used fingers and small toys along with lube, but after any penetration from me, they say it hurts before I get any significant amount of depth. ---
**Author:** ![LisaW](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex029/user_avatar/forum.spectrumboutique.com/lisaw/32/33_2.png) [@LisaW](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/LisaW)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2022, 5:08am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/5 "2022-01-07T05:08:09Z")
Gotcha. Fingers and small toys and then right into 9 inches is still a pretty big jump for someone to take. An anal training kit like [this one](https://spectrumboutique.com/colours-pleasures-trainer-kit.html) (we have a bunch of different types on our site) would be a good work up. That said, a lot of these kits still only go up to about 5-6inches in length. But it’s a good start, and then graduate to a bigger toy with a base after getting comfortable. It’s going to be slow and gradual increase for most folks who have a larger partner. And lots of lube (of course) will help as well. I’ve also noticed getting vibrating toys or even just holding a traditional wand toy against the base of a plug can relax the body more as well. It’s all about comfort, and that just can take some time and practice. And using something like the Ohnut that I mentioned above is still something I’d check out. Also at the end of the day, it just isn’t some folks thing. But if a partner is willing to try and game, gradual increase is the best way to work up size. ---
**Author:** ![Heyman2234](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@Heyman2234](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/Heyman2234)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2022, 7:17am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/6 "2022-01-13T07:17:14Z")
I will look into those. Is this an issue you have experienced yourself and that helped? Or just what you have been told by others? ---
**Author:** ![LisaW](https://yyz1.discourse-cdn.com/flex029/user_avatar/forum.spectrumboutique.com/lisaw/32/33_2.png) [@LisaW](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/LisaW)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2022, 4:23am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/7 "2022-01-16T04:23:32Z")
Both. I’ve had friends I’ve discussed anal with, and it’s always a mixed bag who is and isn’t a fan, and sharing tips for size and comfort has always been a common talking point. But learning how to slowly build up tolerance of size is something I’ve learned directly with my partner with strap-on play. ---
**Author:** ![Heyman2234](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/0ea827/32.png) [@Heyman2234](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/Heyman2234)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2022, 1:04am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/8 "2022-01-17T01:04:16Z")
Should I use dildos to help my partner work up to 9 inches? ---
**Author:** ![rageeatingcereal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/7bcc69/32.png) [@rageeatingcereal](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/u/rageeatingcereal)\ **Post date:** [March 31, 2022, 3:19am UTC](https://forum.spectrumboutique.com/t/how-to-approach-anal-with-women/3667/9 "2022-03-31T03:19:55Z")
I was in a relationship with someone who was quite pushy about anal. I have medical issues and it was very painful for me. He was probably just under 7 inches and not super girthy. We tried fingers and plugs and dildos for over a year, and at the end of the day… i just didnt like it. He kept saying, “there HAS to be a way for you to like it. We gotta keep trying.” And there just wasn’t. Im just a big advocate for talking to your partners. Ask what they’re comfortable with and what they are willing to try, and if its too much… it may just be too much.